The One With the Workarounds

I am not stupid. Usually.

And I am pretty good at techie, computer kind of stuff. Usually.

I love anything Apple Computer does. If they said sweat tasted good, I would probably buy a bottle. Okay, maybe not sweat. But Apple Computer is the bomb. Usually.

So Saturday I woke up, yawned, stretched, and thought to myself, “What could I do in the next three hours that would totally mess up my entire digital music recording setup so that I can’t meet my recording deadlines which are all in the upcoming week?” And then I answered myself: “Install that new Lion OSX operating system on all my computers today!” And that is what I did.

Three hours later I was running a shiny new operating system on my iMac. I love shiny new. And then I went to open Logic Studio, the main software I use to record. And I saw this:

I figured it must be a joke. I googled it. And guess what? It is a thing. Logic 8.  Doesn’t. Work. On. Lion. My Duet by Apogee $600 interface? Also doesn’t work with Lion. What about my Melodyne software? It works, but not until I buy the $500 upgrade for the other things that don’t work with Lion.

But no big deal, right? Just deinstall, and put the old system back. Easy peasy. NO. NOT EASY PEASY. Turns out that I should have protected myself by making a clone of my previous operating system and backing everything up. THEN it would have been easy peasy. Just remove Lion and open the clone, no harm done. But I didn’t know that a clone could be my best friend. I didn’t even know I liked clones. And now that I know, I have no clone.

I was left with some choices, none of them pleasant.

1. Go backwards. Buy a hard disk at least a terrabyte in size and back up every single file on my hard disk. Wipe the hard disk, install a new system with the disks that came with my computer (which I believe was the Panther OSX, which is TWO steps back). Then find the installation disks for all of the programs I had on my computer and reinstall each, one by one. Restore all the data to the hard disk and pray that it all still works.

2. Go forward. Buy Logic Studio 9. $500. I purchased the Academic version of Logic Studio 8, which is not eligible for upgrade. Buy a new Duet by Apogee 2, which is compatible with the new system. $700. Reinstall Melodyne.

3. Go sideways. After a lot of research, I find that computer geeks all over the country have come up with workarounds for the worst of my problems. I can open Logic Studio 8, using a weird little script. If I quit the program, I can’t just double-click to reopen it... I have to once again go through the weird little script. Another workaround lets me use my Duet by Apogee interface blind. It works, but I have no on-screen volume or input controls... I have to just feel around to try to get the right volume levels on the microphone, the speakers and the headphones. This is the option I chose. I have a really hard time with going backwards, and I can’t afford to just leap forward. But I think the workarounds will work until I can a) afford to upgrade Logic, and b) Apogee is working on an upgrade to the interface driver which should be finished by the end of the month.

So, net cost of going sideways:

Apple Lion OSX: $29
Logic Studio 9 (purchased used on eBay): $200
Cheap interface purchased at Apple to get me through the first couple of days: $249
Lesson learned: Priceless.

Once again, it was a lesson I did not want to learn. But maybe there ARE no lessons I really want to learn?

The Useful One

Dillon is looking for a job. Just a summer job. The kid is only 17. It has long been DK’s dream that one of the boys would shoot for the stars and land a job at Quizno’s. For obvious reasons. So it got me to thinking. I have always thought that if you could pick careers for your kids, you should pick useful ones. You need one doctor. One mechanic. One dentist (preferably one that does orthodontia). But I have seven kids… and eventually they will all have spouses, right? I have something like 14 to pick out. So here is the master list.

1. Dishwasher
2. Cranberry bog worker (the outfit is super cool)
3. House painter
4. Pastry chef
5. Movie theater manager
6. Apple store employee
7. Owns a pickup (I know that’s not an occupation, but it is useful, bordering on vital)
8. Massage therapist
9. Piano tuner
10. Race car driver (in case you need to get somewhere fast)
11. Balloon animal maker
12. Beekeeper
13. Bail bondsperson
14. Hair colorist

And I guess I don’t care so much about the doctor, the dentist and the mechanic. We’ll get by.

The One Where Goes She Goes Off On Safari

Two weeks ago I took my sweet little laptop to the Apple store because Safari, the internet browser, would not work. E-mail, check. iTunes, check. Internet browser, FAIL. They tried re-installing programs, re-installing the system, and those didn't work. So they replaced the internal hard disk. They said that would solve the problem. So on Monday morning I picked it up right when they opened. I brought it home, opened it up, and there was a welcome screen...in 36 different languages. Velkommen to your new hard disk... that was a very, very bad sign. It meant there was nothing on the hard disk. No data whatsoever. I'm not going to lie...I actually cried. DK was standing by, and he immediately called the Apple store, and miracle of miracles, they had all my data. We took the computer right back there. They said it would probably take about three hours to put it all back.

It didn't. It took 48 hours, and even at that, they were not able to put back the programs, just the data files. I was okay with that, since they saved my files. So this morning I brought the computer home, opened it up, and guess what doesn't work? SAFARI! What did I just go through this for the last two weeks for? The original problem is STILL THERE!!! (Sorry about the exclamation points. Let's just say that with all the frustration, I've fallen off the wagon).

Without any internet browser, I didn't even have a way to download an alternate internet browser like Mozilla Firefox or Netscape. I did finally come up with a plan. I asked DK/KH to e-mail me the installation program. It was 17 megabytes, and I didn't think it would even e-mail, but about 30 minutes later, there it was in my e-mail...and guess what! It worked. I am browsing... in Firefox. I don't particularly like it, but at least I am online. I am going to have to psych myself up for another round with Apple before long, but for this weekend at least, I am OFF Safari, and on to greener pastures.

And I didn't even have to go get a hobo finger. Hobo fingers are actually a little hard to come by this time of year. Hobos are better fed around the holidays, and the mortality rate drops slightly. I know... hobo fingers... pretty random, right? This is one of my favorite posts from the Bloggess... check it out.