The One That Fell Flat

So I learned something this week. Substituting bulgur wheat for regular whole wheat in my bread recipe does not work. Dillon made a batch of bread with it a few days ago, which turned out flat and lumpy. So a couple of days ago, I tried it. The dough was the consistency of Play-Dough and I knew it was not going to turn out well. So yesterday, being out of the nice soft white wheat I most like to bake with, I went ahead and made a batch of white bread. You can see my bulgur wheat effort, next to the perfect white loaf.

Apparently bulgur wheat has been parboiled and dried. I’m not sure how that affects the bread, but I did notice that there was no elasticity to the dough... the gluten did not develop as it kneaded. Oh well, you live and learn. I let Skippy give away a loaf to a neighbor family (the good batch, not the short lumpy one) and he said, “Mrs. Keely says she has never ever had homemade bread before.” And then this morning I got a text from Cambria’s seminary teacher, asking me to bring a treat. I offered cinnamon rolls or homemade bread with honey butter, and the immediate response was homemade bread! So much easier. So I’ll be making another batch today.

If you haven’t tried my go-to bread recipe, you should. It is seriously the easiest bread to make. Here is the recipe, which I haven’t posted in awhile... and I happen to think that the loaf pans make a huge difference, and I use the 1-lb. size of these:

Magic Loaf Pans

Victoria’s Six-Minute Magic Bread

The One With the Green Blob

I hope Jan doesn’t read this post (sometimes I don’t know who, if anyone, reads this) because she would probably feel bad, and this one was one hundred percent my epic fail.

Friend Jan called yesterday with a strange and unique request: Would you please make me some green bread? It was a tradition she had growing up, where her mom would make green bread for St. Patrick’s Day. She said she was embarrassed by it as a kid, and would hide the sandwich, surreptitiously pulling off pieces to eat when she thought no one could see. But like many embarrassing childhood traditions, it is one she has come to treasure. She was hosting a first-Tuesday-in-March staff meeting, and wanted to serve green food.

Of course I agreed to make green bread. How could I pass that up? Then I got a little distracted last night. Unexpected company. Coconut shrimp party. Spur of the moment. Mmm. I remembered the bread after the first rise. It was a bilious green color, and I formed it into fat Gumby-colored loaves and placed into the lower oven to rise for 25 minutes. Then I started working on a song I am trying to finish for my music project. An hour went by. Maybe two... DK turned off the beeping timer, I’m sure... and then I stumbled off to bed, exhausted.

3:45 a.m. My eyes open, and I have a single thought: I have green bread rising in the oven. I ran downstairs and opened the oven, and there it was... and it was Dr. Seuss-worthy. It had overflowed the pans. It had cascaded over the oven racks. It had pooled in green glory all over the over floor and the heating elements.

So I have been up since 3:45. Making a new batch of green bread. Yes, I’m a little tired. But I am eating a delicious green grilled cheese sandwich. Totally worth it. Okay, maybe not.