The One With the Missionary and the Song

A friend of mine is serving a two-year full-time mission for our church. If you are not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) then you may not know that missionaries don’t get to call home or have much contact with their families while they are gone. A weekly letter by e-mail is the usual permitted contact. I read the letters that my friend sends to his family each week, and he is such a humble young man that I often find his letters to be thought-provoking and moving.

This week’s letter was so profound that I kept it in my e-mail inbox, and I have found myself re-reading several times since I received it on Monday. Since I don’t technically have Elder M’s permission to forward it, I won’t use any names or identifying information, but I really want to share this with you tonight.

“We got to have a really cool experience this last week, we met a girl named K____.  Unfortunately we met K in the Hospital.  When i first walked in it frightened me. We didnt know what to expect because some one called us and just told us to visit the hospital.  Both of K’s eyes were black and all the white in her eyes were replaced with Blood red.  She seem week as she sat in her bed.  Her mother began to tell us what happened.  K was assaulted in her home, the suspect choked her till he thought she was dead.  She had two strokes and is left partially blind and has memory problems, she cant remember the last two months of her life and the doctors say it will not come back.  Now i know this is graphic and sad but i want to tell you about our experience.
This Girl, a sophmore in high school, is one of the sweetest people i have ever met.  She has such a positive attitude it was astounding.  I was shocked at how happy she was even in her situation.  My companion said, "If you ask just right, Elder M will sing a hymn for you"  she then said, "Will you sing for me?"  So i did.  I sang the song i am a child of God and she mouthed every word as i sang all the verses.  K was in her high school choir and loved to sing but because of what happened she cant just yet.  I felt as i sang that i was her mouth.  That she was singing the words through me.  It was an amazing experience,  words can do no justice.  K’s spirit was so overwhelming and i came away from our meeting as a changed person.  you and i are so  blessed.
     one of my blessings is you... whoever is reading this.  I  am blessed to have you in my life.  I am grateful for your prayers and support.  For you love and your letters.  You have blessed my life beyond measure.
  I love You!”

There is not much I can say to add to that. It just makes me so grateful for this missionary, and for all that I have. I am so grateful to be working on music right now and to be creating a really amazing Christmas CD that will honor my Savior Jesus Christ. I am so lucky to have a voice, and ears that hear and fingers that make music. I am so blessed to have a family who loves and supports me. I am so blessed to have my music partner with whom I could write so many great new songs and produce them into something that will be meaningful. I pray K____ will make a full recovery, and that she will find her own voice again soon.

The Sunday One About Being Grateful

I loved church today. For me, the theme for the day was gratitude. I just couldn’t help but be grateful for all of my blessings. I am grateful for my little ten-year-old girls that I get to teach. Here was the scenario I laid out for them today: You are a good girl. Your dad asks you to go check on your older siblings. But they see you coming, and they dig a big pit, and when you get there they put you in the pit. They take your favorite jacket and dip it in blood, and they go back to your dad and they tell him, “Oh no… looks like Kendell got torn apart by wild animals!” And you think the worst thing is that you are in a deep pit in the desert with no water… but no, some people happen by and see you, and pull you out, and sell you as a slave! And then you get to be a slave for about the next twenty years, while your dad thinks you are dead.

The key to the scriptures is to liken them unto ourselves, so that we can learn from them. I don’t know that I ever saw that I had much in common with Joseph who was sold into Egypt. But as we talked, we found that we all have trials that we are dealing with. Sometimes they are not nearly as terrible as Joseph’s… being sold into slavery by your brothers is fairly extreme, after all. But sometimes they are really just as difficult, and it is those trials that make us who we are. Joseph was “preserved by the Lord” so that he could be a hero and save his father, his family, and all the people from the famine. I don’t know what Heavenly Father’s plan is for me. The trials have been pretty thick lately. But I do absolutely love this quote from Elder Richard G. Scott, an apostle in my church, in which he talks about this principle. He says, “Were you to know His entire plan, you would never ask for that which is contrary to it, even though your feelings tempt you to do so.” I love that. Trust in the Lord. And be grateful.

And then the girls and I left our classroom to go into singing time, and again I was grateful... this time for a little humor. These twin boys got their heads caught in the railing outside the primary room. I guess I should have helped them, but my first thought was to take a picture instead, so that you all could be grateful as well. Happy Sunday!

The One Where Casey Came Home

Casey is home. We waited at the escalator for the arriving passengers. Skippy and Dillon stood right at the bottom, gazing upward for the first glance of a dark suit and missionary nametag. I knew Skippy would start dancing with excitement when he spotted his brother, but it was not Skip, but 16-year-old Dillon, who turned to me with an almost giddy expression, and said, “He’s here!” Ten seconds later, down he came into our arms… too tall, too skinny, already needing a shave at noon, and carrying a handcrafted sombrero, the gift of a hispanic woman he baptized in Dallas.

Our first stop was Casey’s release. Because he was an ordained minister for our church, and had been called as such, and his service as a full-time missionary was over, he had to be formally released. We all sat in a conference room, where after a short private interview with Casey, the member of our stake presidency told Elder McDaniel that he was officially released from being a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. At which point, he began to cry like a baby. We all cried. He removed the nametag that had marked him as a missionary, and put it in his pocket. President Carter asked him what he had learned in two years, and he said through his tears that he couldn’t say, because he couldn’t remember what he knew before.

I know exactly what he means. I’m not sure what I knew before, either. Today is the first day in five years that I haven’t had a missionary. No missionaries out, no missionaries living in my home. It is a happy day, and it is so sad that I can’t stop crying right now. From each missionary, I have learned so much that I am not sure what I really knew before. Please forgive me as I am about to do each of my missionaries a disservice by telling one or two things I learned from them, when in reality I learned enough things from each that it would require a whole post to tell.

From Elder Josh McDaniel, I learned how to send a missionary out. What a great way to start, with a missionary that had spent his whole life preparing to go, and his whole life since holding onto the best of his mission, while adding new graces every single day. Josh is the most consistently cheerful and upbeat person I know, and I learned from him that every single day could be my “best day.”

Elder Breyman taught me hospitality. As I opened my home to missionaries not my own, I found that they were my own after all, and that I could truly love them that much. From Elder Breyman I also learned that everything is not just bigger, but also better in Texas, and that you can make almost anything from duct tape.

From Elder Krenkel, I learned that it was okay to fall down. Blood and bruises are a badge of honor, that show you haven’t been sitting around all day. Elder Krenkel also showed me how much a person can grow and change in a short period of time, and he never failed to amaze me with his humble love of the gospel and beautiful teaching style.

Elder Danielson showed me obedience and how to follow leadership. Coming from a tiny town in North Dakota, he was dropped into the middle of the Real Housewives of Orange County. For days, he simply followed Elder Breyman. By following a good example, the time came when he was a leader in his own right.

Elder Tyler McDaniel taught me that missionary work is about saving souls. Sometimes the soul you have to save is not a stranger’s, but your companion’s. His enemies were anger, frustration and discouragement, and he conquered them so that he could be free to do the work that Heavenly Father had laid out for him. He showed brotherly love to his companions, and kept a very little brother Skippy waiting by the mailbox for the amazing illustrated letters he sent so that Skippy would remember a brother over two long years. It worked.

Elder Gould taught me that life is not a popularity contest. His kind spirit and desire to do the right thing inspired other missionaries, members of the church and all the people that he met on his mission. He taught me the importance of confidence, and that when you are doing the right thing, you can and should be confident. Elder Hopkins taught me to express love for people that are not my immediate family. I had never really considered doing that, and he made me realize how important it really is, and that by extending that love, my family circle just becomes that much larger. From Elder Hopkins I also learned that stalkers aren’t just on TV.

From Elder Pfile I learned courage. He took his weaknesses, like a fear of street contacting, and turned them into strengths by conquering fear. He showed me how important it is to have passion for what you are doing, and never took a sick day in two years. He set the best example I have ever known of what it means to be truly repentant. From him I learned that the only true apology is a humble one. At the same time, he taught me about having fun even when things are difficult. He also taught me about loyalty, as he was fiercely loyal to me and my family.

From Elder Waller I learned that a tough and stern exterior may just be guarding a tender heart. He showed that when you know someone loves you, it makes all the difference. I learned from Elder Waller the power music has to unite people, and he also showed me the importance of gratitude for small acts of kindness, and the importance of doing small acts of kindness every day.

From Elder Hobley I learned compassion, as he showed that compassion to me in difficult times, and as he showed it to others. He helped me realize what a comfort a sense of humor can be, and that it is okay to be big, goofy and childlike because it makes everyone else happy when you are happy. What a great trait to have! He taught me to think before speaking or acting, but not to let people push you around. I also learned from Elder Hobley that one can hunt spiders with swords. Who knew?

Elder Crane taught me about discipline. All my missionaries were hardworking, but Elder Crane was one of the best examples of how to give your best effort at all times. He had the determination to reach goals that others would find too daunting to even attempt. He showed me triumph over adversity, and love for his companions. I learned from Elder Crane how a positive attitude and modesty (combined with the ability to blush) would attract people and make them want to learn from him.

From Elder Murray I learned about possibilities. Elder Murray was excited to try anything. His desire to excel was inspiring, and made me want to learn new things as well. Elder Murray was an example of patience and kindness under all circumstances, and in half a year I never even saw him give in to frustration, much less anger. That is remarkable. Another thing that Elder Murray showed me was how to build up the people around me by showing them their own best traits. I think his own best trait was childlike faith... another thing he taught me.

Elder Felkner was the example of gentleness and kindness. His McDaniel-like sense of humor was tempered by an awareness of others’ feelings at all times. While all of our missionaries have been unfailingly polite and considerate, Elder Felkner was the best example I have seen of being gentleman-like and moderate in his speech and actions. I learned by watching his loving behavior, particularly toward a certain pesky five-year-old boy, that there is no need to call attention to yourself… when you have a kind and gentle, yet confident attitude, people are naturally drawn to you.

And from Elder Casey McDaniel, I have learned that life is short, so you had better be about Heavenly Father’s business. He is an example of seeing to the heart of what is the most important, and pursuing that, without being distracted by unimportant things. I have seen how people are drawn to him and want to be around him and be like him, because of his clean spirit, positive attitude and his refusal to judge others. He has also shown me the joy that comes from being independent. I didn’t always appreciate that independence, but now it is priceless.

My missionary board is covered with probably 80 cards from missionaries we have known and loved (okay, probably 30 of those cards are Elder Hobley’s... but still) and welcomed into our home. Even if they didn’t live here, each and every one still set an amazing example.

Five years, and what have I learned? I remember I didn’t even like to have the missionaries to dinner five years ago… it seemed so awkward. What could we even talk about? I guess I didn’t know much at all back then.

The One Where She Hasn’t Been Sleeping Enough

... which is, I am sure, the reason I had this horrible awful idea. What if you just kept updating the time and date stamp on your blog post, so that it would keep appearing at the top on everyone’s chronological blog lists? I know... right? And that, my friends, is why I am not blogging here this week. So, who’s up next? Can’t wait to see.