Showing posts with label snowmen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snowmen. Show all posts

Friday, January 14, 2011

The One With the New Zodiac

I’m bound to offend someone here. AGAIN. But have you heard the news? Yes, they have changed the astrological signs. If, like me, you were a Taurus, you are now an Aries! Let’s face it… you have been living a lie.

Martha Stewart had to get stitches in her lip yesterday after being bitten by her own dog. A Mrs. Bell from Roscommon, Michigan, completed her 14-foot rendition of “The Last Supper” made entirely from dryer lint. Her family is fearful that they will never have clean clothes ever again. Just this morning, a South Carolina man had to remove the dyed-pink male genital parts from the snowman in his front yard in order to avoid arrest. Burglars in Germany become stuck in an elevator while trying to reach a higher floor, and had to call the police for help. Clearly these people were suffering the effects of the wrong horoscope.

How many snowmen must be castrated before we stop the madness?