The One With the Couture Faux Pas

I love clothes. I will admit that I have spent more money on clothes in my life than I probably should have. I love how a beautifully cut garment can make your good features better and downplay less desirable ones. I love the way something that is just the right color and cut makes you feel beautiful. I will further admit that a $200 pair of jeans does actually make your butt look better than a $30 pair.

My personal philosophy on dressing is best expressed by the costume designer Edith Head, who won eight academy awards (more than any other designer). “Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady.” Hear, hear, Edith!

Enter couture clothing designer Giambattista Valli. I happened to spot one of these designs on my Statcounter sidebar, and I was so very struck by its ugliness that I really couldn’t help following the link to see more. I know I am about to reveal my lack of sophistication.

This coat was the one that caught my eye:

There are so many things that I couldn't help but notice. First, that the shape was designed to be unflattering to virtually any size or shape of woman. Second, it is oddly constructed of different fabrics and trims that could have come from my grandma’s sewing reject cupboard. Thirdly, there is an odd crease down the front that makes it look like it has been folded in half for storage, and they didn’t have time to press it before the photo shoot. The last thing I noticed was only apparent when I actually clicked through to the Bergdorf Goodman website. This less-than-delectable creation can be yours for the bargain price of $4,690.00. Don’t all rush to their website at once, now...

And then I spotted another delightful addition to your wardrobe:

The perfect dress to go with your new jacket! And this little gem is only $3,716.00! Are you breast-less? Barrel-shaped? This one is for YOU! You don’t need to thank me. Thank Giambattista Valli.