Today was a very frustrating day. Things were going well until about 9:00 am., and suddenly everything tumbled down in a domino effect, and by noon I was so mad and stressed out that my hands were kind of shaking. And then I spotted it. It was a sticker on the back of a Honda Element: “Baby in Car.”
Even in the days when I habitually drove around with babies in my car… sometimes lots of them… I never went for those “Baby on Board” stickers. But I didn’t really give them much thought either. Until today. When something snapped. I thought angrily, what earthly reason do they have for telling me there is a baby in their car? Now, I will admit, I was not driving in the best frame of mind. But that sticker really bugged me. Guess what… even before I knew that you had a baby in there, I was not planning to strike your vehicle with my Suburban. I wasn’t planning to tailgate you, sideswipe you, or even make an unsafe lane change anywhere close to you. It really hasn’t changed anything for me. Even if you had a sticker that said, Ugly Person in Car: Please, Put Me Out of My Misery; or maybe: Old Person in the Car: Already Lived a Full Life… even then, I still wasn’t going to hit you.
Maybe that wasn’t even your purpose in informing me. Maybe you were just flaunting it. Trying to make infertile women suicidal. Or, HEY, CHINA! Look at me… PROCREATING. Over. And over. And over. Two, three, four, babies… take THAT, zero population!
Finally, I felt that I just had to catch a glimpse of this sticker-worthy child. I pulled up alongside, and caught a glimpse of a suit. A thirty-dollar manicure caressing a six-dollar Starbucks cup. Wait a second… there’s no BABY in there. You dropped the little darling off at daycare, didn’t you? If indeed there ever WAS a baby. Now we have gone from annoying to just plain FRAUDULENT. And at that point, I may or may not have cut her off. Made my day just a little better.