Friday, December 18, 2009

The One Where She {Almost} Drowned in Eggnog

Alright, I am just going to come right out and admit it. I have committed myself to do too many things, for too many people, right before Christmas! There is probably a 12-step program for this, where I could get up and say, “Hello, my name is Victoria, and I am a… (I don’t even know what you call it) girl who can’t say no?” In my defense, it is difficult to pass up opportunities to earn extra money, especially this time of year. Some of these gigs pay.

But I would like to bake a few goodies, maybe put up a Christmas tree, buy a couple of presents, send out the Christmas cards and make the house look nice for my family. I haven’t had time for those things, and I really have no one to blame but myself, so I will not even begin to bore you by listing the things I have done this week or still have to do… in fact, if I get a full night’s sleep tonight, tomorrow I might feel entirely different about this. I can do without a meal now and then, but sleep deprivation makes me, well… full of self-pity. At the moment I feel like I am drowning. Maybe in a tub full of egg nog, with a strand of garland wrapped around my neck a few times, just to be festive about it.

So an hour ago, I started this post and wrote that all down, and then my visiting teachers came over. If you are not conversant with my Mormon talk, there are a couple of women who stop by once a month to check and make sure I haven’t drowned in eggnog or been strangled by tinsel or whatever, and while they are here they give me a short inspirational message. So Teri told me the message was about compassion. She started to cry, and told me that every time she has had a bad time, I seem to just know, and I see her and tell her exactly what she needs to hear, and I don’t try to fix her problems, which usually can’t be fixed anyway, but I just hug her and tell her that things will work out… and apparently other profound things. She told me that I was her personal example of compassion.

That stabbed me in the heart a little bit. I have been drowning in the aforementioned eggnog/pity, as well as ignoring thirty calls a day from someone who we will call Christine the Crazy Lady, a semi-homeless, entirely carless (that’s car-less, not careless) “born-again” Filipino woman who is unusually preoccupied with The Rapture, to whom I have given a few rides. I have not been as compassionate as I should, and that is probably why I feel like I am drowning. It was a message I really needed to hear. I am going to go take a nap, and then get back to work.

Happily ☺. I promise.


Carolyn said...

I've felt this way all week. Exactly. more 2:30 am asthma. More parties I didn't want to go to. More errands I didn't want to run. More gifts I wasn't as happy as I should be about giving.

Tonight is a bit better. I think we will be snowed in tomorrow. Nothing like staying home all day to get a jump on cleaning and focus on the happy.

Merry Christmas. Really. It's going to be. Really.

Sam said...

Let's go tomorrow. I will grab you and we will put up your tree, get some gifts, and sneak out for lunch. I will even let you pick out tinsel to match your scarf. You can strangle yourself with it later.

Nikia, May and da kids said...

Hang in there. We all want to do so much good it gets overwhelming! I am dead tired like you and I am still plugging away at baking (which I am honestly TERRIBLE at), but I want people to know they mean something even if they have to get the message through rock hard brownies, almost raw cookies and banana bread with raisins (we were trying to get rid of them without having to buy more oatmeal). Then I have to drive people to the airport tomorrow, deliver these baked goods and help the sister missionaries pack and big daddy is feeling frisky. Well I think you know who isn't getting a holiday cheering tonight, this morning, whatever.

The point is, it will be alright and you will be loved regardless and when it is all over and done with. Merry Christmas!!!


USMCBandNerd said...

I love you, mom.

Joy For Your Journey said...

Oh, that "love you mom" comment was sweet. Good luck with everything you are doing. Hopefully you will get a chance to put up that tree before Christmas.

Debbie / Cranberry Fries said...

I'm with you. I can skip a meal here or there but not getting my sleep throws me (and the family) for a loop. Which sadly I've been horrible at keeping up with lately because there is just too many other things to do besides closing my eyes.