The One Where Nothing Happened

You know, it's easy to write an interesting blog when you are an interesting person, to whom interesting things happen. But it takes a real pro to keep on writing when day after day, nothing happens. At all. The highlight of my day today was when I looked at the clock and realized I was late to pick Skippy up at kindergarten. I knew I was in trouble when I ran up after flagrantly parking in front of one of those really giant fire hydrant things... to find that he was the only child left on the curb. He looked me in the eye and said, "You are late." He stomped out to the car, and refused to let me open the door for him. I said, "Hey, buddy... how was your first day back to school? I missed you!" He replied, "No you didn't. Kindergarten is very short." Amen to that. Me: "I'm sorry I was late... I was fixing my hair?" Glance hopefully at my reflection in the tinted window. Nope, that one isn't going to fly. "I was taking a shower?" Again, no. In my defense, kindergarten is actually OVER at 11:20 a.m. And it's the first day back from break. Okay, fine. I am a slob. A dirty, uncombed slob. "Mommy was busy making you cookies." That one got his attention: "Then where are they?" Oops. "The missionaries ate them?" This is not going well. "Okay, Skip. I'm going to level with you right here. I went back to sleep for a half-hour after you left for school. When I woke up again, I ate most of that loaf of banana bread you were hoping to have with your lunch. Mommy is experiencing something of a holiday hangover. Mormon-style. That banana bread was just hair of the dog, if you catch my drift. I chased it down with some disgustingly flat Martinelli's leftover from New Year's Eve, and then logged in to check my e-mail and pretended to be working on writing the roadshow, while actually playing around on Facebook."

Skippy: "Oh."

Footnote: I'm not going to lie. I actually got a lot done today. In fact, you would probably be surprised by all the things I get done every day. It's not your fault for not realizing. I look deceptively lazy. It is one of my secret superpowers.