The One Where Skippy Made Up For Everything

Skippy gave the scripture in Primary today. Giving the scripture is the best-case scenario—total win/win for me and for him. It is cooler than offering the prayer, but doesn’t require the same parental preparation of giving a talk. And Skippy did a great job. We worked on the scripture for a couple of days so he would be good at it. There is a lot riding on it. More than you might imagine…

It has to make up for those times when Skippy has shown up for church without having had a bath in three days, and wearing cowboy boots with no socks under shorts that are maybe just a little too short. (So sue me for letting the Skipster pick out his own clothes…) It makes up for that Sunday where he informed me in a rather exaggerated stage whisper, Mama, I’m STILL not wearing my underwear, and so I ask, What do you mean, STILL? He says, I told you yesterday, I don’t have any clean underwear. I tell him, That’s not a problem, Skip. Just don’t tell anyone but me that you’re going commando today.

It makes up for the fact that when he was just a nine-month-old baby, I brought Honey-Nut Cheerios in the little plastic container instead of the regular kind of Cheerios, and in the humidity they all kind of stuck together, and one of the other moms said, why are your Cheerios all stuck together like that? And I replied that they were maybe Honey-Nut Cheerios, and she gave me that look of horror and pity all mixed up and said, You feed your nine-month-old sugared cereal? Uh, NO. It is honey…thus the name HONEY Nut Cheerios. And besides, have you ever tasted plain Cheerios? All you can taste are the 12 vitamins and minerals with which the oats have been fortified.

Doing a good job on the scripture makes up for the times Skippy has worn jeans because we couldn’t find the church pants he wore the week before because they were mixed in with the rest of the clothes that had been discarded onto the floor all week long. Once Annie, who is Liam’s age but doesn’t need speech therapy, came up to me and informed me: Skippy isn’t wearing church clothes today. I looked her in the eye and replied that, as it happens, Skippy is not really a church kind of guy.

It makes up for that Sunday when I realized Skippy had NO shoes that would fit on his feet without having to wad his feet into little painful balls. So in desperation I took him to Famous Footwear during Sacrament Meeting and bought him some shoes. The ox was honestly in the mire that day because I don’t shop on Sunday unless it is an emergency, but it has apparently scarred him for life…he was only one and a half years old, but he still throws it up in my face: Why do I have to go to Primary today? Can’t we just go to the shoe store again like that one time? Are you kidding me? You can’t possibly remember that! If you can remember that, then tell me this: what does the pre-existence look like? Huh? Huh? Just as I thought.

Okay, so maybe we should have offered to give the talk. Clearly, I have a lot to make up for.