The One Where She's a Genius in Her Dreams

When I take photos of someone, I fall in love with them a little bit. Maybe all the way, because in order to take good photos, I have to see the beauty in a person, and in the course of doing that, it seems that they become more and more attractive with each photo. Lynda and Allen are no exception. I took pictures for their 50th wedding anniversary, and I just finished all the color correction in Photoshop.

That is probably why I had this weird dream last night. In the dream, I invented something truly revolutionary. I keep a notepad and pencil by my bed for just such occasions. So this morning I scrambled to find the notepad. Did I remember to write it down? Yes, I did. Two words: Photoshop Makeup.

Apparently I invented a makeup kit that contains a set of tools very similar to those found in Photoshop. How awesome is that? In my dream, I was out in public after having used almost the entire arsenal of Photoshop makeup tools. I used the smudge tool to smooth out that little vertical wrinkle I have above my right eyebrow. I whitened my teeth using the dodge tool. I lengthened and added hair, using the rubber stamp tool. I used the burn tool to darken my eyebrows and eye makeup, and I made my eyes just a little bit more blue, using the paint bucket.

I was talking to a friend, and she kept staring at a spot somewhere just above my eyes. I finally asked what she was staring at, and she told me that there must be something wrong with her eyes, because every time she looked at my forehead, her vision was blurry. Dang. I should have used the clone tool instead of the smudge tool. Oh well. Thank goodness for undo. Maybe I should just use the airbrush on everything. Then no matter how close someone gets, I will still seem a little aloof and unattainable. Who doesn't want that?

Photoshop Makeup. Recommended for professionals only. Please use responsibly.