The One Where Everyone Was Here

Ethan almost didn’t make it home for Christmas... his flight was scheduled out of Washington, D.C., and all of the flights from there were canceled. So they put him on a flight to Newark, where they parked him on the floor for the night, and the next day he managed to find a flight to LAX. So we only had him for two days... but for those two days, everyone was home. It was crazy and fun, and did I mention crazy? {Click on any of the photos to view them large}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Random Vacation facts:

On Christmas Eve the kids got ready to bake the sugar cookies by preheating the ovens, where I had two full batches of orange rolls rising in plastic bowls covered by kitchen towels. Need I say more?

Skippy got a tattoo kit in his Christmas stocking (I’m not going to lie... Santa is a little edgy at times) and surprised us by charging all of the young adults who are always hanging out at our house 19 cents per tattoo, and turned a tidy little profit for himself. He now has $28.76 in his money jar.

Everyone entertained themselves by trying to get Jif to walk several steps. He would only perform if the reward offered was electronics, such as a cell phone. I myself have decided not to budge for anything less than a new iPhone. So far it is not working well for me.

Josh got straight A’s his first semester at UCLA Law School, with the exception of a single A-, which has bruised his ego enough that this week I was finally able to beat him at online Scrabble.

Ethan told me over the phone that he had gained 40 pounds since basic training. I didn’t believe him... until he arrived. He fell asleep on the couch in a jet-lag-induced stupor, and it took four boys to carry his Marine body up the stairs without throwing him into a fireman-carry.

Josh and Jessi came over to the dark side, and sacrificed their anti-video-game vows on the altar of Rock Band for X-Box 360. It was at once sad and entertaining.

There are many more random facts... but you have places to go and people to see. I am going to work on my New Year’s resolution. Exercise? you ask... no. I am striving to make the perfect donut. There are so many recipes in the world:)

The One With the Winners

Winners. This guy here is a real winner. He didn’t even know he was in a pie-eating contest. That is just the way he eats. Did you notice the piece of crust stuck to his temple? I’ve got to be honest: this photo is grossing me out enough that if you stop by tomorrow or the next day, it may be gone. Oh... and my dad used to have this corny joke (okay, so a lot of corny jokes): The first place prize is: a week in New York!!! And for our runner-up, the second place prize is... TWO weeks in New York! Now, I’ve been to New York City, and a second week would have been just dandy. And of course, none of this has any bearing on the business at hand, which is the Giveaway!

So DK supervised the official drawing today...and the winners are... *drumroll please*... NAN, and MARILYN. Congratulations! To all the rest of you who so kindly visited my blog, entered, commented, and visited again... thank you, and I’m sorry, but you didn’t win. Please keep coming back anyway. I will try to make it worth your while. So, Nan and Marilyn, the only thing left is to tell me which package you want. Photos, or Domestic Goddess?

The One With the Giveaway!!!!!

For the seventh day of my photo challenge, here are the five favorite photos, as most nominated by the few of you who check in every day or two. I think it’s funny that you like the grandma shoes! I gave you less than 24 hours to nominate a photo, so if you still want to weigh in and express an opinion, please feel free.

Now, here is the fun part. I’m doing a Giveaway to celebrate the 5000th hit on my blog… By commenting on this post, you will get one entry. If you link to my giveaway in your blog (just let me know), you will get a second entry, and if you agree to do the week-long PW photo challenge like I did, you get yet another. You should try the photo challenge…it was really fun! It made me look around and see things differently, and it made me get my camera out and dust it off. Digital photos are virtually free…so why don’t I take more pictures? And for heaven's sake...if you don't have a blog, comment anyway! You don't even need a Google ID to leave comments on my blog. But don't be anonymous, or I can't give you a prize.

Details of the Giveaway. There are two packages:

1. Photo Package. This is only redeemable in Southern California, so if you don’t live here, and don’t plan to visit here, don’t choose this one. It is a photo shoot. I will take pictures of you, or your kids, or your dog, or your motorcycle, or whatever you want. I will spend some time in Photoshop and do some cool effects for you. I won’t remove all your wrinkles…maybe some…but I will definitely remove any pre-cancerous growths and then show you the before and after, so that you will run in fright to the dermatologist to have them removed for real. I know you think I’m kidding…but I once photoshopped this old guy… okay, too much information. Then I will post your favorite photos from the shoot on my blog (only if you want) and I will provide you with your digital negatives.

2. Domestic Goddess Package: This one will find you, via expedited delivery, anywhere you live. It includes a sexy 50s-style apron (you must provide your own high-heeled shoes), my favorite cookbook (the one that makes me feel like a rockstar in the kitchen: Barefoot Contessa Parties), a loaf of fresh homemade bread and the best chocolate chip cookies in the world…enough to share, but I don’t recommend it.

I will draw for two winners, and each winner will have his or her choice of one of the packages. Even if both winners choose the same package, I will comply with the requests. I will draw at 5:00 p.m. PST this Sunday, April 4th. Good luck!

Day Six: The One Where She Went to a Biker Bar? Della, This One’s For You; Oh, and Pick a Favorite

Yes. A biker bar.

Each week we don our Sunday best and head out to church. And each week, on our way, we pass scores of motorcyclists wending their way to Cook’s Corner, located about three miles from our house down a winding narrow road through Live Oak Canyon. There are always bikers there, as it is the most famous biker hang-out in Orange County...but on Sundays they come out in droves, completing a 12-mile circuit from Laguna Beach.



Yesterday I thought to myself, I should go down and catch a couple of quick photos for my photo challenge. I enjoyed the adventure. My only regret was that I didn’t have the nerve to ask a couple of the aging hippies in the parking lot if I could take their picture. Ah, well, another day. As it is, I enjoyed looking at the beautiful bikes. There is not a surface in my house as pristine as these bike engines...



So Della, when you get your bike fixed up, you’ll have to join the Ladies Who Ride…

NOW: Do me a favor, y'all. In the comments section here, nominate your favorite photo from the last week's posts... In fact...you can choose from any post on the blog. Although there are a few photos on here that I pulled off the internet...but you can probably tell which they are:) Today my blog counter rolled over 5,000 hits since I started counting back in the end of November! I would like to celebrate tomorrow with a little fun giveaway announcement. So nominate your favorite, even if someone else already did... PLEASE???

Number Three: The One With the One She Never Has to Worry About

I’ve been a mom for a few years now. You could say I’ve been around the block more than once. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it is that you are always worried about someone. In fact, I think the best you can hope for, as a parent, is that by this time next year, you will be on to worrying about the next child, and your current woe is, if not forgotten, at least a fuzzy memory.

Dillon is my 16-year-old. He is smart, funny, quiet, doesn’t like to be embarrassed, and… almost never a worry. I have to modify that with “almost” because only a stupid parent thinks their kid never has any problems. But Dillon worries more about other people than himself, and…I’m not sure how to word this…but he sort of effortlessly maintains the highest of standards. Effortlessly is maybe not the best word. He has created a moral oasis for himself. If there is a line you shouldn’t cross, he doesn’t walk it. Not only does he not even go near the line, but he somehow manages to exude sort of a disinterest about it…like he never noticed the line was there to begin with. He spreads that to his friends so that they all think it is cool to stay far from the line.

If he has a weakness, it is pranks. I don’t know where he gets that…I seem to recall something about a whole soccer goal ending up on the roof of the elementary school. Hmm. That, and he shuns homework. I do know where he gets that.


Oh, and Dillon and I have a thing. We watch “The Biggest Loser” together while eating an ultra-high-calorie meal. His taste runs toward Rubio’s, like a shrimp burrito and several fish tacos. There is something decadent about stuffing oneself while others are deprived, and worked out until they cry and/or throw up.

Well, that is Dillon. And I am off…to worry about one of the other ones.

Entry Number Two: The One Where Mom Went to Her Happy Place

It’s me, Cam…and I get to do a guest post today. I took pictures of my mom in her happy place. Her happy place is in this little triangle between her piano keyboard and her computer. She loves the computer so much she would probably marry it, if she wasn’t already married. Now, for the photos du jour: I took them, and then my mom and I fixed them up in Photoshop. We didn’t take out the wrinkles or the gray hair, though…heh heh heh… click on the photos to see them GIGANTIC and you can see. What we did do was play with the lighting a little bit…it is pretty dark in my mom’s happy place. AND on one of the photos, we did my favorite thing, which is called desaturating. We took the color down by 90%. But I wanted my mom’s eyes to stay blue, so she selected them first and only desaturated the rest of the photo. Cool, right?


My mom’s eyes are pretty freaky, you know. First of all, sometimes they look blue…sometimes green…and sometimes gray, sorta like mine. You can’t spell chameleon without Cam. Even weirder: they can see right inside of you. She always knows when one of us kids is doing something wrong. She can also see problems very clearly. People are always asking her for advice about things, because she can see right to the heart of the matter. She doesn’t need glasses or anything, either. She can read the tiniest print ever. I told you…freaky eyes.


The other thing in the pictures that you should pay attention to are her hands. She thinks he hands are kind of ugly. But anyone I know will tell you that they make the best food in the world, no contest. And when she plays the piano, she is pretty good. I don’t get it, but people always cry when she plays in church. It is not really all that sad…people really ought to just get over it.



Cam’s photo-taking tips: Take a lot lot lot of pictures because: it doesn’t cost any more to take 50 than it does to take three. And because out of 50 photos, there might be three good ones. And you don’t know which ones are going to be the good ones. Don’t center the person’s head in the center of the frame. Position the head at the top of the frame, but don’t cut off the top of it. Try taking some pictures from very close up. That way you can catch all the wrinkles and gray hair… MWA HAH AHHAHA!

Art Entry Number One: The One With the Buddies

Welcome to Day One of my PW art challenge...

Not three blocks from my home, there is this beautiful field that leads down into O’Neill Regional Park. In March, I’m not sure there is a more gorgeous spot. And is there any friendship more genuine and unpretentious than the kindergarten kind? I think not.

*Click on the photos to view them larger.

The One Where the Grass Was Greener On Someone Else’s Ranch

I want to be Pioneer Woman. At the very least, she and I should be best friends. It is true…I dream of Ree Drummond’s life on the ranch. I would really like to go and chop some wood right now. Or milk a cow. Marinate some flank steak. Step in something. Ride out to check the back forty. Unfortunately, it’s not going to happen today. Well, you never know…I could probably step in something. But I am in Orange County. Here we have two seasons: spring and summer. We have the only tree for miles around that changes colors in the fall, and people always seem so surprised by it. Um, did you notice that your tree is turning red, and the leaves are falling off?

But enough wishing for what I cannot have. Her blog is not really about living on a ranch. It is about having a beautiful life. I admire the way PW takes photos of everyday things, and calls it art. I can do that. It is free fun. So I am issuing myself a challenge. Every day this week I am going to photograph something I think is beautiful, post it and call it art. I already know what my first entry has to be… you can look for it later tonight. Anyone have any suggestions for the rest of the week?

The One With the Baby Dream

you are
floating, drifting, lazing
in the perfectly not-quite-quiet
twitching, sucking, whimpering
without once waking
tell me
baby
what do you dream?

The One Where She's a Genius in Her Dreams

When I take photos of someone, I fall in love with them a little bit. Maybe all the way, because in order to take good photos, I have to see the beauty in a person, and in the course of doing that, it seems that they become more and more attractive with each photo. Lynda and Allen are no exception. I took pictures for their 50th wedding anniversary, and I just finished all the color correction in Photoshop.

That is probably why I had this weird dream last night. In the dream, I invented something truly revolutionary. I keep a notepad and pencil by my bed for just such occasions. So this morning I scrambled to find the notepad. Did I remember to write it down? Yes, I did. Two words: Photoshop Makeup.

Apparently I invented a makeup kit that contains a set of tools very similar to those found in Photoshop. How awesome is that? In my dream, I was out in public after having used almost the entire arsenal of Photoshop makeup tools. I used the smudge tool to smooth out that little vertical wrinkle I have above my right eyebrow. I whitened my teeth using the dodge tool. I lengthened and added hair, using the rubber stamp tool. I used the burn tool to darken my eyebrows and eye makeup, and I made my eyes just a little bit more blue, using the paint bucket.

I was talking to a friend, and she kept staring at a spot somewhere just above my eyes. I finally asked what she was staring at, and she told me that there must be something wrong with her eyes, because every time she looked at my forehead, her vision was blurry. Dang. I should have used the clone tool instead of the smudge tool. Oh well. Thank goodness for undo. Maybe I should just use the airbrush on everything. Then no matter how close someone gets, I will still seem a little aloof and unattainable. Who doesn't want that?

Photoshop Makeup. Recommended for professionals only. Please use responsibly.