Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The One With the Domestic Goddess

I know. The term Domestic Goddess has been tossed around a little too freely. But I am the real deal. Fact: I sew. Fact: I make an amazing pie. Fact: I knit, crochet and even cross stitch (who does that?). Fact: I can milk a cow (okay, so that is more agrarian than domestic, but let's call it extra credit). Fact: Twice (since 1984) I have been completely caught up on washing, folding and putting away laundry (cut me some slack... I have seven kids, for goodness' sake).

Since I'm feeling confessional, I'll just put it out there...I am not a great housekeeper. However, I am something better. I am very discriminating when it comes to good housekeeping. Let me give you an example: I can go to my friend Lisa's house, look around, rub my nose and cross my arms, and say, very seriously, "Wow, Lisa, your house is really clean." And do you know what? I will be right, every time. It is very clean. Can you see how having good taste in clean houses is actually better than having one's own house be clean all the time? Much more versatile. And consider this: Would you rather have a spotlessly clean house, or a cookie jar that is always full of some seriously decadent cookies? I rest my case.

Having rejected good housekeeping as a valid criterion for Domestic Goddess status, let me offer my most compelling evidence: I make bread. I don't just "make bread." I. Make. Bread. I have not bought store-bought bread since last January of 2008. Every two to three days I turn out three perfectly formed, incredibly fragrant, wholesome loaves of lovin' from the oven. Why do I do it? It is not to defend my title of D.G. Rather, I figured out that: a) I can make three loaves of incredible whole wheat bread for approximately 55 cents. That is not per loaf, that is for all three. In a house full of teenage boys, that is practically free food. b) My house always smells amazing (not like Mr. Clean, but even better). c) I can have the dough rising in the oven in less time than it takes me to find my car keys and my shoes and drive to the store to buy a five-dollar loaf of bread. d) Since I have started making the bread, my whole family has discovered that our previous favorite, Orowheat Country Potato Bread, actually has a strange chemical smell. We weren't able to smell that before, but now even Skippy won't touch the stuff.

I am not a jealous goddess... I am willing to share with anyone who would like to join me here at the top. Therefore I am including a link to my Six-Minute Magic Bread recipe, which I have developed over the last year. It is simple, delicious and makes fabulous sandwiches. I wish to warn you, however, that you have to pay your dues if you wish to become a D. G. Your bread will likely not turn out perfectly the first few times. It is an art, not a science. But it is worth it. If you decide to get serious, invest in some heavy aluminum non-stick one-pound bread pans from Williams-Sonoma. Also worth it. So put on your high-heeled shoes (you know the ones) and buy yourself one of those sexy, 50s-style aprons... every true Domestic Goddess deserves one.

Victoria's Six-Minute Magic Bread


McD Three said...

I want to join your D.G. club. I'm just to lazy or too poor to buy a wheat grinder or good baking pans. Maybe for Josh's birthday I should get him a wheat grinder. I bet he would like that (with a promise to make him home made bread often). What kind of wheat grinder should I get? Now that I am done with clinical I can me the D.G. that I always dreamed of.
P.S. the wedding cake was amazing. The cake was made from scratch (butter cake--each serving probably had a stick of butter) and each layer had the filling of the fruit decorating it. You can tell all of your friends that if they want to fly me down to California I will make them a fantastic wedding cake. That cake cost me $50 to make, and I patterned it off of one I saw in a magazine for $1000. The only difference was that Jacki made me use buttercream frosting instead of fondant and the magazine cake didn't have different fillings in each layer.

Victoria said...

I'll answer mcd three's post here, in case anyone else wants to know about grinders... if you go to www.pleasanthillgrain.com, they have a variety of grinders. The one I use isn't there anymore, but it looks exactly like the VitalMill grinder there, which retails for about $179. I grind my two cups of wheat each time I make bread in less time than it takes me to add the sugar and salt to the mixing bowl.

Lisa said...

Okay, I am in!

This entry did make me laugh. And if I laugh outloud (I did) I count it a great entry.

Della Hill said...

I have a bread machine. Does that qualify me as a DG?
I do make great berry pie though.
I am feeling inspired by you. I will think really hard about actually making my own bread and see if the yeast of my thoughts rises into motivation to try it.
I'll let you know.

Lisa said...

I don't want to be a domestic goddess.
Plus, I am so competitive, I would have a clean house and I would beat you. It would really just make you feel bad.

It is weird that you can do computer stuff and house stuff. Most people are either or.....Etsy would prove otherwise, I guess. Nevermind, I just made that up

shrinkingme said...

So they do exist?! I always thought that domestic Goddesses were just stories that we heard about as young moms...I need a moment to gather myself here.If you say it's possible, well then I have a new goal to strive for! I vow to "attempt" baking bread, it seems more productive than stashing a small bowl of pine sol behind the pictures so it "smells" like I cleaned that day. Fresh baked bread does do a little somethin' somethin' for the senses. Your on!!

Nan said...

OK...so our ward preparedness specialist combined with some others and arranged for a group order of wheat grinders for the discounted price of $139.00...Now, I have always had a fear of anything yeast and given that I grew up with matzo and unleavened bread, my fear is legitimate. Anyway, your post and recipe gave me hope, so I took the plunge, ordered a wheat grinder, and now I am going to attempt bread...

Jamie said...

Thank you! I meant to print off your recipes and kept putting it off. This makes it much easier for me. Now I'm off to check out grain mills.