The One Where She Sings Backup for John Mayer

Not very many people know this, but I have a really awesome singing voice. One of the best things about driving on the freeway without the whole family in the car, is I can listen to my music as loud as I want, and sing along, while Skippy can enjoy his movie with headphones. I sound so amazing singing with John Mayer, that if he heard me he would ask me to sing with him for his concerts. Other motorists agree. Although, in the interest of honesty, I will have to say that at 75 miles per hour, I can't be exactly sure that was what that guy was trying to communicate to me. (Sorry, DK...did I say 75? I meant 65! Love you!)

Anyway, I am pretty darned good. I wish you could hear me. But you can't. And the reason is not really what you think. It is actually because I think I might possibly be a vampire. I am sure you are thinking right now that that is a pretty big leap of logic, but hear me out. First of all, I am quite pale. And I often get my days and nights mixed up, to the point that I could sleep pretty much anytime. In fact, I could totally use a nap right now. I have sort of prominent canines. But here is the kicker: When people take pictures of me, it totally doesn't look like I appear in the mirror. They turn out way fatter, for one thing. And audio recordings of my voice also do not work. I sound so awesome in person, and on a recording, it is like some horrifying, otherworldly version of me. Or it could be that the "Twilight" movie is coming out tonight at midnight and I have that on the brain. Either way, you will not be hearing a recording of my voice. But if John Mayer were to go on a road trip with me, then we would see... Oh, and taking my logic to its next logical step, isn't it good to know that, despite appearances, John Mayer is very likely not a vampire? Probably can't rule out werewolf.