Friday, November 14, 2008

The One With the Quirks

A friend of mine listed some of her quirks on her blog, so I tried to think of some of my own, and was coming up blank. I think it was some sort of traumatic memory block, because as soon as I thought of one, they started to pile up quicker than (insert colloquialism here--fleas on a dog, zits on a fry cook, leaves in get the picture. I am not from the South, so my 'isms are kind of lame). Now I can’t stop. A quirk should not be confused with a peeve. Pet peeves are those things about other people that bug you. In fact, I have actually given up all my pet peeves, since I realized how many quirks I have, and that my friends seldom mock me for them. Here is a small sampling of the quirks that I will admit to having.

1. I adore infomercials, and I want to buy anything I have ever seen on one. I know it is not logical, and no, I don’t believe everything I see on TV. But just the thought of a Pompeil pasta maker and a Maxiglide (do you see the genius here? a hair appliance that sounds like feminine hygiene?) has me reaching for my credit card right this minute.

2. I’m scared of doctors and dentists. Especially dentists. I’ll take a pelvic exam over an oral any old day. I would elaborate more on this quirk, but I find that I am beginning to sweat excessively just thinking about it… so, enough said.

3. I love using exclamation points. I have to go through my writing when I am done, and take most of them out. Each time I replace one with a period, I feel a stab of regret. A single tiny dot doesn’t adequately express what I want to say.

4. I’m not very good at talking on the phone. I have to force myself to return phone calls. Please know that if I returned your call, it was a sacrifice of my personal comfort. I really had to dig deep. If I didn’t return your phone call, then you sacrificed for my personal comfort. Thanks for taking one for the team.

5. I hate sad movies and books. I used to love them. When I was younger, I would watch “Terms of Endearment” and “Steel Magnolias” just to wallow in the tragedy of it all. At some point I realized that there is enough sadness in real life, without having to borrow it from entertainment. I don't really need to see moms dying from wasting illnesses and leaving small beautiful children to be raised by their fathers. Now I still like action movies. “Quantum of Solace” comes out tonight! (sorry, but that exclamation point was warranted) Now if I were holding onto any of those pesky pet peeves, I would probably have some sarcastic remark to make about that movie title right now. See? I have let them all go.

6. Apparently I have this funny expression I make when I look in the mirror. Let's call it Blue Steel. (compare my photo with Derek Zoolander's) It’s kind of a lip thing. My kids love it. Give me a break, guys...I'm really not trying to do Blue is, no doubt, a subconscious attempt to make my reflection look skinnier.

7. I can’t stand ants… in fact, I can smell them when they are nearby. No, I am not crazy. I looked it up, and they really do have an odor. The smell is actually formic acid, which is produced by their little ugly ant bodies. An anthill is sometimes called a "formicary" (I thought that was where you could buy generic medical prescriptions--who knew?). If Wikipedia says it, then it must be true. Creepy creepy creepy.

I’m sure that my really good quirks are ones that I a) don’t know about, or b) can’t quite admit to. If you would like to add a quirk that you think I should have included, please feel free to leave a comment. I know where the delete button is.


Lisa said...

the quirk challenge has been offered....I will reply

Della Hill said...

I don't know you well enough to give you any of your quirks, but here's a few of mine:
I put all stamps on any letters I send sideways, always.
I have to keep any cash in my wallet in sequential order facing the same direction. (My husband says this is normal, but I'm rather obsessive about it).
And: I am terrified of driving in convertibles. I always picture them flipping over and envision the heads of the passengers being crushed and smeared on the asphalt.
Not so weird, you say?
How about when I add that I personally own 2 motorcycles and have been riding for 14 years. That doesn't scare me at all.
But convertibles, no way.
Thanks for checking out my blog and entering my give-a-way.
Your arguments were very convincing.
I am kind of rooting for you now that I know you would give them a good home with no alcohol, tobacco or other worldly influences.
But I have to ask. Living in California, you aren't Laker fans are you? I'm not sure I could let these monkeys go to the arch rival of my beloved Utah Jazz.

~ Jamie ~ said...

We share some of the same quirks! They are fear of dentists, love for exclamation points, hate talking on the phone (email is the greatest invention ever!) & sad movies/books. I've never really thought about my quirks before.

Lisa said...

You have the weird habit of being really patient with people who are mean to you. It is a weird quirk.

You also make bread....all the time. Quirktastic!

You also seem to have no real weird is that....what can't you do? have some REALLY WEIRD FRIENDS!!!!

shelby said...

oh my gosh! the zoolander face! i loovvee it! im have a pretty good zoolander expression myself...

Lisa said...

You are very quirky, in fact, I cannot stop...

You rub your nose before you cross your arms and say something really serious.

You are freakishly perceptive...I sometimes hate it....but mostly I need it.

I would like you to make a scarf for me....I am a paying customer. You have this weird quirk of not charging for things.

Lisa said...

Oh, and you seem to have horrible luck with your must have some weird electrical pulse in your fingers or something..maybe you are just too cold and need to carry around a hobo finger or something.

allison said...

It is quirky that you don't reply to my comments.

Lisa said...

It is quirky that my computer just said I was allison

shrinkingme said...

I saw your posts on Della's blog and you had me rolling on the floor! I added you to my list of people to visit, I will definately be coming back soon!