Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The One With Craig, Megan and the Randomalia

This morning, true confessions.

First of all, I just have to get this out. I have never been able to distinguish properly between Craig’s List and Megan’s List. I realize now (don’t ask me how) that it is an important distinction. But it is not totally my fault. I know a Craig and a Megan, and they are married to each other. They probably each have their own lists, as well. Be that as it may, I was a little horrified when some nice lady from church mentioned that she had a current listing on Craig’s List. She always seemed so nice. I suppose they usually do. I saw a similar look of horror when I showed someone the studio monitor speakers I had bought from a guy in Irvine I found on Megan’s List. Even as I am typing this, I am not positive I remember which is which, so for now I think it is probably safer that I stick with eBay.

This one is not my confession, but Dillon’s. Apparently yesterday in Seminary, he whipped out a pair of underwear. Not his own. Also not really his fault. Dillon, who is 17, is the nicest big brother in the world, and still shares a room with Skippy even though he doesn’t have to… mainly because Skippy wants to. Dillon even does Skippy’s laundry along with his own, and when he pulled his clean sweatshirt out of his backpack at Seminary, a pair of 6x Spiderman boxer briefs fell out of it, right onto the floor. Dillon says he jumped on them so fast, he doesn’t think anyone else saw. (So I thought I would share it just in case.)

Last but not least, I had a really weird beach experience last week, which I have been pondering ever since. I think that the next time I go, I am going to take my own “PROHIBITED” sign. The sign would include, but not be limited to, the following:

No old men in thongs
No public urination (ten feet from where I park my towel)
No asking for bongs. Bring your own, or do without.
No reenactments of “Endless Love” with girls under 14
No wearing your nasty briefs instead of swim trunks
No lying on top of each other, especially if you are unattractive to begin with (sorry if that one sounds discriminatory)
No No NO lying on top of each other if you are the aforementioned guy wearing the briefs instead of a swimsuit. I’m serious, Fruit of the Loom... give it a rest.
No playing of guitar and singing after consuming too much alcohol, or if you are tone-deaf, or both

That’s pretty much it. I am not that hard to please. Thank you for helping to keep the beach happy for all of us.

6 comments:

Cindy said...

Tee-hee, twice. Too funny!

Garden of Egan said...

PLEASE PLEASE say it's not so. Urinating, briefs, laying on top of???????
I think I'm gonna be sick?
What beach and why were you in Gomorrah?

Kerry B said...

At least Dillon didn't walk around half of the day with the Spiderman undies stuck to the back of his hoodie...

Once saw a lady dressed in stockings, heels and pearls put on some kind of a tent and then wriggle around under it. She came out completely changed into a bathing suit. Maybe the Fruit of the Loom guy should find out where she shops.

thanks for making me smile!

Carolyn said...

You know I've been longing for the beach. You put a serious dent in my desire for sand and water.

:)

Gr8Life said...

You really should make a sign that has your list of NO's. And post it on the beach next time you go and listen for people's comments on it. that could be very interesting.
I completely agree with everything on your list.
Very Funny post:) Loved it!

Loralee and the gang... said...

Now I'm really feeling queasy.