Thursday, December 4, 2008

The One With the Baby Piano


Stupid things I do when I'm distracted. Thursday I had a turkey in the oven (turkey? on the last Thursday of November? I don't believe in coincidence). About midway through cooking time I was feeling so in control of my fate that I decided to risk taking a shower and putting on clean clothes. I came down an hour later to find the turkey sitting in a cold oven. I apparently turned the oven off when I checked it before my shower. I tried to blame it on DK, but I know it was really me. This morning I wasn't feeling very well, but we are out of bread, and domestic goddess that I am, I realized that I needed to get bread made before the missionaries came home for lunch. I threw everything (well, almost everything) into the mixer, and sat down to check my e-mail for the six minutes it takes to make the magic happen. After six minutes, I turned the dough into the bowl, covered it with a towel, and placed it into a warm oven. Ten minutes later, it came to me in a flash...I didn't put in any yeast. That whole mound of beautiful dough...straight into the trash. Start from scratch. Couldn't blame that one on DK. This is a stressful week. What else am I going to do? Forget Skippy at kindergarten? Go to church with my skirt tucked into my pantyhose? (I actually don't wear stockings anymore...this is Orange County, after all. But I totally did that once when I was pregnant...let me tell you, it was super attractive!) When I'm under a lot of stress, it finds its way into my dreams. Sometimes I even go sleep-walking. The worst was a couple of years ago when the whole family was staying at the Hotel Monaco in Salt Lake City, and in the middle of the night, I went sleepwalking. Out of the hotel room. I woke up enough to realize that I was in a hotel, in my pajamas (thank you thank you thank you), and I didn't know what hotel, why I was there, or where my room was. Fortunately, as I woke up more, I remembered some details, and was able to find my way back to my room without providing amusement for the desk clerk. Sleepwalking. It is why, in a house with teenage boys and missionaries, we sleep fully clothed. Anyway, I can tell this week is getting to me... last night in a pretty graphic dream, I gave birth... to a piano. It wasn't a large piano, as pianos go, but come on...where is that anesthesiologist when you need him?

8 comments:

Lisa said...

The picture is making my episiotomy scar hurt.

McD Three said...

your dreams are starting to sound like my dreams. Last night I had a dream that I gave birth to a 15 Ib Indian (from India) baby. I kept searching through Josh's geneology trying to find out where the Indian came from. I was really frustrated with the baby because it was so big it couldn't even fit it my arms. It looked more like an Indian 5 year old than a new born infant.

McD Three said...

but not just McD Three...

Josh said...

So was it a "baby grand"?

I crack myself up sometimes...

shrinkingme said...

Oh my!! So agreed that it is so just a bathrobe worn backwards, but hey, some idiot will end up buying these wonderful inventions and make another idiot wonderfully rich! LOL

Tyler said...

So I am confused as to what 'DK' means everytime I see it there is an amount of blame... Tell me if I am right but my first and only real conclusion is the one the I could find...

Damn Kids.

That is it. :) It must be. If it is any less grand I don't need to hear about it because it will just be a let down.

Victoria said...

Tyler... SHOCKING! DK stands for "Darling Kevin." KH is "Kevin Honey." I think it is rather telling that you think it would mean YOU when blame is being assigned... I haven't blamed you for anything in quite awhile. Maybe since before your mission:)

Tyler said...

Well I am way relieved by the fact that I haven't been blamed for anything in a long time. Then this would be the perfect time to explain anything like me showing Liam how to make shapes using cinnamon/powdered sugar for decorating brownies and then he took it to a new level.


So, that really was just the genius of Liam. I hope that you weren't too mad.

Lisa--aka The Gardenweasel said...

It might be the cold medicine, but i am disturbed by this picture of me on this piano.