Sunday, January 18, 2009

The One With the Blowtorch

Tyler e-mailed tonight and wants my crème bruleé recipe. I will post it here. (This should score you a date, Ty) But don't even consider making it, unless you have a torch. Williams Sonoma sells these little kitchen torches that are cool, but they don't hold a lot of fuel, or last long. So one Mother's Day, DK went to the hardware store. He selected a torch in my favorite color (mine looks just like the one pictured below), and then went to the employee that worked that department. He asked him, “Is this torch for use in the kitchen?” The reply: “Kitchen, bathroom...anywhere you need to weld.” Heh heh... Reminds me of that line in Mr. Mom where Jack is pretending to be rewiring the whole house to appear manly to his wife’s boss, who says, “Yeah? You gonna make it all 220?” and he replies, “220...221...whatever it takes.”

Although that isn't the best quote in there. This one is pure Jack Butler: “I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they’re great... and they are; they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You’re out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads, Ken. That’s serious.”

I know that doesn’t have much to do with blowtorches. Or crème bruleé. But it is a life lesson worth learning. Thanks, Jack.

To download the recipe, click here:
Classic Crème Bruleé


Tyler said...

Mom can I have a torch, this is a real request, not like a crowbar or machete or... well you know. I will be very careful like i have been in the past. I need it it is not just a want here, it will boost my self confidence in the kitchen the reaching to school and work performance! Especially work that might mean a promotion or notice from the head chef which would then mean a raise and or career change from back server to sou chef or back chef, what ever it is, it will be worth the investment. If you want a list of ten i will be working on it. I will submit the full list tomorrow.

Tracy said...

Oh, that looks good! I love creme brulee (did I spell that right?).

ROFLOL about the closet pact. I totally need to get one! I've been racking my brain about who I know that I'd be comfortable with them seeing my closet. I don't mind my friends seeing my house when it's a wreck. But I can blame that on my kids. My closet - well, that's all me. LOL! And I can just see myself on the other side, watching someone clean up my closet, and my saying, "Ok! I get it! I'm in hell! Please don't make me watch any more!!!!"

Lisa--aka The Gardenweasel said...

I have a real one from Williams Sonoma you can have Tyler. I got it for Adam and he never used it. I threw it in our 72-hour kit. I mean, in an emergency we could weld, fight off stray dogs, AND make creme brulee.

Tyler said...

Here it is. Having a kitchen torch will do me much good. Here are my reasons why:

1. I will stop dropping weight and start gaining more muscle due to the increase in complete protein found in eggs.

2. It will improve my hand eye coordination.

3. Having a kitchen torch will give me street credibility amongst the cooking circles in Provo.

4.William Sonoma is in a location too far for any real life starving student to drive to.

4.I have prior instruction and training in the use and care for said torch.

5. My blogs will be more fulfilling as I write of the wonderful, fun-filled, meaning-full and creative dates, that i would have with such a tool.

6.I will impress those that I work under with my torch skills, resulting in a possible promotion to be a line chef. This would be a change from the serving and clearing, or even at times buying toilet paper for the women's restroom.

7.The last prize that i won in such a drawing was over four years ago, and karma is really on my side. The prize previously won brought happiness and comradeship amongst all those that were with me.

8. You love me.

9. It will never be used in the stead of a razor for facial hair removal,... ie. eyebrows, lashes or beard.

10. It will be used for the caramelizing of sugar, emergency welding, or in self defense. So you don't worry about me.

Those are my reasons, and I am pretty sure that there are no other applicants. If anyone else tries to sneak in a submission I WILL FIND YOU. love ya, ty

shrinkingme said...

ROTFLOL!!!!! I can always count on you to make me laugh, hard, I curse my bladder at the end in most cases, but its so worth it!

Secondly, I can see the resemblance in your son!! I say that his 10 reasons really are great ones. Who really knows where a williams sonoma is? And, I must say that he does seem pretty smart. He realizes the difference between said torch and razor. He would be prepared during a home invasion, and eggs really are a good source of protein. Plus, he and my son share a name =).

Nan said...

Tell Tyler to score the torch at Whitney's apartment. She got the sissy William Sonoma torch for Christmas last year from her Aunt and Uncle.

Victoria said...

Alright, Ty. You win. Even though I didn't know I was running a contest. Just so you know, I always worried about you and your desire for weird birthday presents like machetes, chainsaws, and the like. I think I read somewhere once that that is the sign of a serial killer in the making. Or a lumberjack. I can't really remember which. So when we come up for J&J's baby, I'll bring you the torch, the sheet music, etc. etc. etc.

Della Hill said...

Great post. Do you know I have never before had a desire to own a torch, but now I totally do.
And I've never welded, removed my facial hair with fire or made creme brûlée before.
Btw, no one ever told me that woobies were blankets, so that's the nickname we chose to refer to my sons penises when they were little.
We ended up having a very interesting conversation at our family reunion about how great woobies are and I was ready to not leave my kids alone with my brother until we clarified what we were talking about.
Now we just call their penises penines.

dk/kh (Kevin) said...

BTW, when I asked the guy “Is this torch for use in the kitchen?” I was just trying to avoid one of those vaguely foreseeable tragedies. "Yeah, can you believe it: he used a soldering torch in cooking a food product!?!? Poisened 9 people with industrial chemical residue. Last time I saw something that dumb, someone used a hibachi full of briquettes to heat an indoor living space...killing everyone with carbon monoxide." But rest assured, gentlereaders, we have used the torch several times with nothing tragic to report.