Showing posts with label repentance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label repentance. Show all posts

Monday, March 1, 2010

The One With the Road Rage

Sorry... two churchy posts in a row. I promise tomorrow I will be irreverent to make up for it, but I just have to put this one out there. Yesterday our bishop (the pastor of our church) told a story that really hit me. He was getting on the freeway the other day, and as soon as he got on the on-ramp he saw that the freeway was not moving. He had about 100 feet to merge, and then he would run out of ramp. So he either had to merge or run off the road. No one would let him in, so he kind of cut someone off. After he did, he looked in his rearview mirror and saw that the person he cut off was NOT happy about it. In fact, the guy changed lanes and got next to Bishop Gregson and started shaking his fist at him and flipping him off, yelling obscenities. Bishop Gregson thought about it, and decided to try to turn away the anger with a gentle apology, and so he smiled at the man, and mouthed the words, “I’m sorry.” The funny thing is, if you know Bishop Gregson, you kind of think to yourself, that could have gone either way. He is patient, but doesn’t seem like the type to let people push him around, either. Not only that, but you should google “road rage.” You will find hundreds of pictures of people who get out of their cars and beat the daylights out of someone who cut them off.

What came next was an awkward few minutes when the freeway traffic did not move very much, and so he ended up driving alongside angry guy for some time. It was kind of embarrassing… you know what that is like... how you really don’t want to look over at this person that you have offended. But at one point he did, and the man was making motions to him to roll down his window. Bishop Gregson was a little worried about doing it… but he rolled down the window. As soon as he did, the man told him that he was so sorry for the way he had acted, and the things he had said and done. I was surprised that this story made me cry.

Bishop Gregson said that we live in an angry world. It is true. There is a lot of anger. I know, because I have people who are so angry with me that they won’t speak to me, because of things I have said or done, or because of misunderstandings, or even for things that I didn’t actually do. I have apologized, even for the things I didn’t do... but the anger is too much, and they can’t forgive... some of them for years. There is something in my emotional makeup that makes me think of those people every single day, because as long as there is someone angry with me, the world is not right. I have never really been one to hold onto anger for any length of time. I know I have plenty of faults, but on the plus side, I forgive quickly, so it is painful and hard for me to understand when others do not forgive me, because I never intentionally cause pain.

But I know that I have repented of the wrongdoings, and I also know that I can’t fix the rest ... so the Lord wants me to move on and get busy. He can’t do anything with a servant who is sitting around worrying about slights, and he can’t do anything with someone who never gets up from her knees praying for forgiveness. I love this scripture: Doctrine and Covenants 64:34. Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind. I believe the willing mind leads to working hands. So, time to get to work. Time for us all to get to work. And just try to chill.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The One Where She Can’t Get it Out of Her Head

I have been working on music this week. Not quite sure where to go with it right now, but I am trying.

This song... Prodigal Son...  has been in my mind a lot lately. It is a song that I think is really fun, but it is more than that. In a way, it seems like this song encapsulates what the composing and recording process is like. It was fun and it was frustrating. It was simple, but I managed to make it complicated. I worked the longest on it, yet it is not finished. The bottom line is, I know when I listen to it, that I didn’t capture the performance I was looking for. I love the way my Christmas CD turned out, but I learned so much this year... much of it, actually, while recording and editing this song... and I know I can do this so much better. It is my dream to hear it with no regrets.

I don’t know if “no regrets” is possible. Like the song, it is all about repentance, forgiveness, moving on to the next thing. Like I said, simple... but I can usually manage to make it complicated:).

{Artwork is “Father and Son Dancing” by one of my favorite artists, Brian Kershisnik. If you would like to read more about how I wrote the song, you can check out this post from last year.}
 



Click on the mp3 player to listen:






Prodigal Son

I’ve been walking this path for far too long
I feel weak
It’s harder and harder to breathe
I know
It’s just a case of choosing right or wrong
But in this dark place
Sometimes I can barely see.


Show me
The way I can finally be free
There’s a fire that’s burning inside of my soul
I am ready now
To give all my sins and hurt to thee
Take my troubles
I’m giving them all away.


You have had the perfect answers all along
You tried to tell me
But I didn’t have ears to hear
Now there’s music where before I heard no song
And when you sing
The message becomes so clear.


Will you show me
The way I can finally be free?
There’s a fire that is burning inside of my soul
I am ready now
To give all my sins to thee
Lay my troubles down
At my Savior’s feet
I’m giving them all away.


Please
Forgive me for the times I turned away
How’d I forget that
I was my father’s son?
I let temptation lead me so far astray
That it left me
No other choice but to run.


I think I see
The way I can finally be free
There’s a fire that is burning inside of my soul
I am ready now
To give all my sins to thee
Lay my troubles down
I’m giving them all away.

Lay my troubles down
I’m giving them all away.


Still, it’s not enough to say that I’ve come home
I’m your servant
Yearning to do my part
Father, as long as I live I’ll never roam
Just look inside me
You’ll find a disciple’s heart.


Now I finally see
How to live and be free
There’s a fire that’s burning inside of my soul
I am ready now
To give all my sins to thee
Lay my troubles down
At my Savior’s feet
I’m giving them all away.