The April Fool’s One

This is me (as a child), 18 years ago...today is Ethan’s 18th birthday. Yes, April Fool’s! I was having labor induced anyway, so I asked the doc, please, can’t we just do it on March 31st? (This was my fourth son...surely he could cut me some slack) Um, no…that’s Easter. Okay, fine. But you do realize it will be April Fool’s Day, right? Dr. C: You’re not superstitious, are you? *Insert eye rolling here*

So April 1 in the morning, they started the pitocin, and by about 10 a.m. when the doctor rolled in to check my progress, things were moving along well. He checked me, looked very serious all of a sudden, and called for an ultrasound machine. April Fool’s! Baby had turned entirely breech since he had last checked me at 8:00. He successfully performed an external version, which is a lot less fun that it sounds, and then headed back across the street to his office.

At noon when he came back, he checked me again. I was waiting to hear, congratulations, you’re fully dilated; let’s have a baby. But no… April Fools! Ethan had turned breech again. Another external version. This time nurses giving fundal pressure, and doc breaking my water…attaching a scalp monitor to the baby, and then taping that around my thigh so many times, it seemed that he thought he might be able to lasso the baby so that he couldn’t turn again. (That probably wouldn’t work, by the way)

Well, Victoria, for this baby to turn breech twice during labor, he must be a lot smaller than we thought…maybe in the 5-6 pound range. April Fool’s! Eight and a half pounds. Oh, and I know you’re really sore down there right now, but you’ll feel much better tomorrow. April Fool’s! You actually fractured your tailbone during the delivery, and you won’t be sitting straight for a few months. I didn't know you could even do that.

Tell me again…what was wrong with having an Easter baby? I guess the real joke is, today is his birthday…but he gets to spend it having his butt kicked at Marine boot camp… April Fool’s, Ethan!