Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The One Where She Gives Them Everything They Asked For

The Welcome Mat. It is just me. Slice of life and all that. Tasty tidbit, occasional tune thrown in for good measure. And I will freely admit, I am pretty boring most of the time. Have you ever heard of Beccah Beushausen? She wrote a blog which chronicled her thoughts, feelings and experiences during her pregnancy and delivery of a terminally ill baby girl. According to a very tender post, the baby survived a home birth, only to die a few hours later. The blog was beautifully written and heart-rending and attracted thousands of followers and over a million hits.

There was only one problem. It wasn’t true. Reading my blog may be as interesting as watching grass grow… but at least it is always as true as I know how to make it. This morning I was thinking about what makes people read a blog. I am actually working pretty hard not to have extra drama in my life. So I wondered: how do people even find my blog? This is how. These are the google searches that have directed people to my blog in the last week:

1. Buxted Chicken Leg.
2. Old guys with young guys. (Yikes. This one is a frequent flyer, and I have to say, it caused me to rename a couple of posts. Sickos.)
3. The house was clean last week sorry you missed it.
4. Batman welcome mat. (Did you miss my Batman on Facebook post? Classic).
5. Favorite foods of Imelda Marcos.
6. Bumblebee emoticon.
7. House elves.
8. Emily post on funerals (glad I could help!)
9. Oh Sarah…Coldplay.
10. Cinco de Mayo Restaurant in Shelby, Ohio.

You know me. I’m a giver. I thought today I would give everyone what they really want. A song that includes everything they’ve been searching for. Except the old guys with young guys. Somebody needs to get over that one. Ew. So, without further adieu…

Sarah, Sarah, won’t you please…
Just feed me some of those bumblebees
Emoticons won’t let me breathe
Sarah,
Sarah

Sarah, Sarah, feed me please,
Some of Imelda’s favorite Buxted chicken legs
Sing me some Coldplay
Sing me some Coldplay at Batman’s funeral
And I’ll put out the welcome mat for Emily Post.
Sarah,
Sarah

Sarah, Sarah, won’t you please
Take me to the wild
Take me to the wild place in Shelby, Idaho
Take me to the cinco de mayo place
Feed me some flan with the bumblebee emoticon
Sarah,
Sarah

Sarah, Sarah, won’t you please
Clean my house
It was clean last week
Sorry you missed it
House elves never stay
Sarah,
Sarah,
Won’t you please
Put out the
Welcome
Mat
For me

Sarah,
Sarah

8 comments:

Debbie said...

It always makes me laugh to see the things people search for when they're directed to wholesome little blogs. :) I love the original new song and everything.

Jan the crazy lady said...

You are so pretty.

That is the strangest thing I have ever heard. I was thinking about her the other day. And now to find out she wasn't true about that. Horrible. Using a child. That is so wrong on many levels.

Love the song. You are so creative and funny. Just love it.

Jamie said...

Seriously...not true...wierd.

Love the song. :)

Della Hill said...

I too am surprised by the things that bring readers to my blog.
I don't have a huge blog following, but even when I went over a week with out a post I was still getting 30+ visitors a day who found me on random searches.
You know, your song might seem random but it makes more sense than a lot of songs on the radio.
I like it.
-Della

Lisa--aka The Gardenweasel said...

Word verification:
buxted

Okay, it isn't but I cannot throwing that word into conversation. No one has asked me what it means.

real word verification: ellysig
definition:none.....can't think of anything funny.

Glass Mannequin said...

I basically am awesome. Just kidding. But I love everything. No, wait, just kidding.

dk/kh (Kevin) said...

I have to take credit for the 'buxted' chicken. It's a brand name. Hey, parts is parts.

Carolyn said...

I've got to look that up for my blog. Too funny!