Friday, May 1, 2009

The One Where Vic Was Fuming...and Fumigating

Tyler, my handyman, came home last week…only being stopped once for drug possession…and through his Herculean efforts, the downstairs bedroom was transformed…into my beautiful new office/studio. Setting up a home studio is ever so much more complicated than I would have imagined. I thought, get Logic Studio and a microphone and you’re all set! I suppose that was rather naïve of me…

I won’t bore you with all the components, but let’s just say that it consists of about eight more than I listed there, and that doesn’t include the computer or the digital keyboard…and even that doesn’t include all the cables, patch bays, stands, etc. that I haven’t figured out yet. What I found in my research, is that the right microphone is a huge deal. I read, I studied…I read some more. Heavens, I even prayed that I would figure out the right one…because good microphones cost into the thousands of dollars. My budget was to buy a $1000 microphone, and try to get it for under $500 used. I settled on the right mic, and then watched eBay for weeks to find just the perfect deal, and last week, I did it. I set my alarm for midnight, got up and purchased the Holy Grail of $1000 microphones discounted to under $500.

Yesterday it arrived. I held it in my hands. It was smooth, heavy…beautiful…and..wait for it…smelled like an ASHTRAY!!! Mind you, I am not an eBay newbie…I have been “burned” by smoke-permeated items before…items that had to be simply thrown in the trash, because to keep them in the house was impossible. This auction stated: Smoke-free environment. On what planet? On the planet of I have cut down to three packs a day so this is a smoke free environment? That planet? I don’t want to return it…but I will if I have to. For today, send some fresh breezes this way, because I’m going to be airing this baby out. But in the meantime, could someone please explain to me why smokers can’t smell their own residue? I. Don’t. Understand.

10 comments:

Debbie said...

Ick. Sorry about the smelly microphone. How awful to wait so long for it and then find it smelly.

I dont get it either. Outside the store the other day we walked by this smoker standing RIGHT next to the door. My daughter, very loudly, says "EW smelly!!!" I almost shushed her but then figured she was being rude blowing it in our paths.

The family said...

I don't think they have any idea. My mom smokes and I really don't think she has any idea how strong it is.

with love, r said...

Happy Belated Anniversary!
I figured, since you are such a great cook and all, that you might have a secret to curing jalapeno burns. Ouch! I am still tingling almost 24 hours after the incident.

Carolyn said...

Yuck Yuck Yuck!!!!

I hate smoke smell. I can catch even the tiniest whiff from miles away and then hurl into the nearest trash can.

I am so so so sorry!!! I would at least leave negative feedback for the seller.

So sad.

Catherine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cherie said...

Kinda gross!

Love the room though -The color is fab!

Cherie said...

I forgot to add that if you have one of those hand held steamers it will take the smoke smell out - some Fabreeze too.
Worth a try if you don't want to return it.

Victoria said...

Well, it has been about 18 hours since I opened the package, and I have to admit there is BIG improvement. I just did the smell test, and I can put my nose two inches from the mic, and I can't smell the rancid smoke. One inch, and it is detectable, but since the mic will be behind a pop filter, I think this is workable. NOW I have to get to work on the cables, and see if I can wipe them down with white vinegar or something and get them smelling okay. The problem with them mic is, you can't get anywhere near it with liquid or even vapor...it wrecks the condenser! But this gives me hope...

Jamie said...

That stinks! ha,ha! No, seriously, that is a bummer. I HATE the smell of smoke. I'm glad it is less stinky now.

Tyler said...

You never addressed the real issue. Jalapeno burns can be fixed with milk. Whipped cream would work the best. You mat also want to break up the oils from the pepper that stick with salt. like you see people do when they drink alcohol. Salt in the palm and lick it. Eck, but it works.

Also if you sing and smoke at the same time does that give you an extra smoky sound? There is something to ponder for ya'll.