Thursday, November 20, 2008

The One About the Wet Stucco, or Her Quest For a Postcard


I was just going to be all mysterious about the wet stucco, because it is really a fairly lame story, but Pete, this one's for you. I stopped in SANTA NELLA, which is the town with "whatever the heck travelers want" or whatever their misrepresentation of a motto is (which location, by the way, no one guessed except my mom), and the Skipster and I went to three different truck stops looking for a single non-offensive, missionary-appropriate postcard. Do you think they would have anything like that? No. The answer is no. No they do not. They had pornographic magazines, model semi-trucks that were so large they might have been 1:4 scale, Dr. Phil CD boxed sets, cigars from a vending machine, "fresh" almonds with an expiration date from 1995 (I actually bought those, because on Tuesday Bob from The Biggest Loser said that I need to keep "power snacks" handy. He recommended almonds. It was an unfortunate mistake, as I didn't look for the expiration date until after I actually ingested some of the almonds), as well as all kinds of really cool auto parts for very large vehicles. I was informed by Manny, Moe and Jack at each location that no one sends postcards anymore. They just e-mail. Thus the free Wi-fi. Thanks guys.

Now I have spent 30 minutes searching for a postcard. I didn't want to stay any longer in that armpit of a pit stop, so I crossed the freeway and drove to the Ramada Inn in the picture (which does, indeed, have a guitar-shaped swimming pool. I know, because I have swum in it). Skippy and I got out of the car and walked up to the front entry. There was a maintenance man taping off pillars, and there was a big sign that said, "Please Pardon Our Dust. We Are Remodeling, Expanding and Modernizing." Awesome. We peered in, and it didn't look promising, but I was on a mission. I had to find a single postcard. Non-offensive was becoming negotiable... and shocker! The girl at the counter said, "Yes, right here. They're free." At this point I should have stocked up, since I would not find another postcard the rest of the day. But then for the next four days, Elder H would be getting the same Ramada Santa Nella postcard.

So I walked out with my prize. I triumphantly affixed my See-Threepio stamp, and then stood next to the USPS box right outside the hotel, addressing furiously. I looked up, and saw that Skippy, being the adventurous boy that he is, had scaled to the upper wall of a long bench-like shelf that ran around the whole courtyard. The level he was standing on dropped off about six feet straight down behind him, so I dropped the postcard and ran to help him step down. I told him to play on the bench part while I finished the card, and I sat down beside him so I could do just that. But I set my hand down, and the stucco bench was wet. My hand was covered with a light brown goo that was sort of a cross between paint and concrete. Ahh, a perfect match for my pants. Skippy had been playing all over the wet stucco, and now it has my butt print. Thanks, Ramada. And here is a sign for you: "Please Pardon My Butt During Construction. I Am Currently Remodeling, Downsizing and Modernizing."

16 comments:

Kenzie said...

hahahaha that is so funny! :) glad you saved skippy but too bad your pants got ruined! hope your havin an amazing time :)

Kenzie said...

i hope elder hopkins enjoys all his letters... that is such a great idea! :)

Kenzie said...

haha, i like the picture of the girl who sat in paint, ahahaha :)

Kenzie said...

so, just a question, is that contest still going on? cuz if it is, then i might actually have a chance of winning! :) ....

Kenzie said...

Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
you're the one that everybody does adore,
Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
dazling eyes, a sparkling smile, and charm galore! :)

Kenzie said...

Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
you're the one that everybody does adore,
Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
dazling eyes, a sparkling smile, and charm galore! :)

Kenzie said...

Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
you're the one that everybody does adore,
Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
dazling eyes, a sparkling smile, and charm galore! :)

Kenzie said...

Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
you're the one that everybody does adore,
Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
dazling eyes, a sparkling smile, and charm galore! :)

Kenzie said...

Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
you're the one that everybody does adore,
Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
dazling eyes, a sparkling smile, and charm galore! :)

Kenzie said...

Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
you're the one that everybody does adore,
Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
dazling eyes, a sparkling smile, and charm galore! :)

Kenzie said...

Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
you're the one that everybody does adore,
Sister McDaniel, beautiful Sister McDaniel,
dazling eyes, a sparkling smile, and charm galore! :)

Unknown said...

McKenzie! She is so devious. While I was out at Twilight (not sleeping...that was only 2 hours last night), she was POSTING!

I think those pants still make your baigh look good, so keep them.

RSM Text Factor Gurus said...

I can get my whole family to post on here..... Adam, Allie, me, Sam. It is like our FHE via Vic's blog.

Just know if i don't win, I know A LOT of secrets that you may not want everyone to know

RSM Text Factor Gurus said...

um....i'm going through withdrawal here. I didn't give you the computer to borrow for you!

RSM Text Factor Gurus said...

a poem.....a song..... a sonnet...

a limerick. maybe

There once was a girl from there
Who traveled and had really big hair.

okay, I'll come back and finish it after basketball

RSM Text Factor Gurus said...

She hinted and typed
her butt she did wipe